feel free to tune in ot the destruction of mike! hahaha i'm so drunk kwtf. why is my life isn fucking shambles! why cant i sjut be with the person that i love the most. why is that not an opdtin for me! when i'm here, i just want to be with her so bad and mti makes me really fuypset when i dont get to see her. and i want to b ewanted! why ma i so undesirbale. but alicia told me that i'll be fine! i'll find somebody!so did all the other girls tonight. but why dont i feel like that s really going to happne! if i let go what i haev now, maybe i'll gbe alone forever. maybe i'ma supposed to ber alone forever.that's just not fucking FAIR !A WHATHTEFUCK. i have dsomebody that i want so bad. but she doesnt mneed me like i need her. is that what love is? i think tis supposed to be when you like... neeeed somebodhy. it's not just like, oh i love you. it's like, i need you in my life and i'll be dgoddamned not to have you. like, when you are done working for the day, or when ur just like sitting around, you want to be with that person. its nto like a last resortt sort of thing. it's not like... okay im done doing important shit now i guess i'll go seethat person. its like... okay ive done whatever i was doing, i really want to see them! that's how i picture it. but it doesn't fucking matter. i'll never eb a priority to anybyod. i'll always be background noise, like jazz. lahahaah. omg. i just dont want to go to new york tomorrow. i think i might now. i might just go liev somewhere else. i think samy is home. she wants to hang out. maybe autumn too. idk. i just cant deal witht this bullshit anymore.
i just want to be LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK. can't somebody just be mine.s :(
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