it's what i got!

All that I've got right now is a laptop with a semi-reliable connection to this world wide web, and my thoughts driving me mad. You are certainly reading the transgressions of a madman, just thought you should be privy to that.

There is not quite a meaning for this post, besides to remind all partakers that I am very lonely, with no real outlet of communication besides through here, which is quite bonkers. Having a mobile device here is quite meaningless, at least when I'm cooped up in the house from the hours of about 5:00PM or so onward.

I've acquired some lined paper, and a few nice pens. What's all the more wonderful, the nicest of the pens is from Amnesty International or some sort of like shit. I just know that sitting in the room adjacent me, lurks a pen with the words "Amnesty" etched across it. And what makes the situation all the more ironic is that I intend to write some rather raunchy material onto these sheets of used-to-be-trees.

I'm contemplating writing something special, for somebody who also happens to be rather special. I haven't embarked on such a quest since I was in high school. I used to resort to such writings, if I'm being honest (which I am), to attract attention from the female populous. A few of my female friends will recall this period of my existance. I just wanted to be loved, if that's a crime, then what the fuck is my business being a free man? I still want to be loved, but I definitely take a less look-at-me desperate approach than I had formerly employed.

So, that being said, if I manage to stay sane throughout the remainder of the night, I plan on writing something beautiful. I don't want to just type it out now, I think it's more of a magical process when one can place words to paper. Of course, if the finished product is to my liking, I won't mind disclosing it through this modern means of communication. However, my intended audience must have the first go at it.

I don't really know what else to do with myself at this point. I've been working through my sorrows rather affably, I must admit. But with the latest bit of news that I have received, I may not get be able to obtain the happiness that I'm so craving until an even later box on the calendar. Now, there's absolutely no possibility in me not getting to the lesser state of Pennsylvania before Halloween. And, yes, I am fully aware that said "holiday" is not exactly a lifetime away, but it certainly feels like such. I am really hoping that a miracle happens, and I can see that person that I'm dying inside to see before I actually do go ape-shit mad.

Not to worry, I will certainly detail all progress, and regress, that should develop. I'm just hoping that I won't have to report the latter.

In an utterly cliche end-note, I shall quote a song. Even worse, it's a song that I never even took a particular liking to, but it seems rather appropriate given the situation: "You know, that I could use somebody".